October 25, 2023

Questions to Ask Before an Arranged Marriage: Expert Advice

Marriage represents a significant and profound milestone in one's life and necessitates careful contemplation before taking the plunge. Prior to deciding if the partner is the right one, especially in the case of an arranged marriage, it is important to get to know the person better. So, it's important to aware about questions to ask before arranged marriage. Building a mutual connection, understanding, and respect is indispensable to the journey. To make this alliance work, it is important for both of them to engage in open and honest communication. So, to make the process go more smoothly, you need to have a well-thought-out list of questions.  

Before you sign that "love you for a lifetime" contract, make sure you know what you're getting into by asking these essential questions. Discussing your different opinions and values early on can help reduce conflicts down the road. These questions will help you gauge your compatibility and build a strong foundation for your marriage.

1. Questions to Break the Ice

Creating a comfort zone is the first task, and if there is no such thing, it will be really difficult to get open and frank about the topics you wish to discuss. Start with light questions, like each other's hobbies and interests. This section of questions are important in "questions to ask before marriage".

Marriage is not about finding common interests; it's all about understanding and accepting each other's interests.

You could ask questions like: 

  • What kind of music does your partner like?
  • Does your partner read?
  • Does your partner like dogs or cats?
  • What does your partner think about social media?
  • What does your partner like to do for fun?  

2. Questions about Relationships and Marriage

Questions related to marriage and relationships are important if you are in the process of getting to know your partner. This will help you get to know the point of view of both partners in the marriage and relationships.  

Few questions to ask before marriage about relationship are like:

  • What's your partner's concept of marriage?
  • Which one is important to your partner in a marriage—love or respect?
  • How is this marriage going to bring change into your partner's life?
  • What would you do if you or your partner fell out of love?
  • What, according to your partner, is the best thing about marriage?
  • What are your partner's career aspirations?
  • What do you think a couple should do to keep the love alive in a marriage?
  • How important are events like wedding anniversaries to your partner?
  • How does your partner like to spend their time with family?
  • How would you take it when your partner got a better promotion at work?
  • What excites your partner about getting married?
  • Is there anything your partner would like to share before getting to the ultimate step?
  • Do you and your partner both believe in love?
  • Does your partner have any concerns related to marriage?

3. Questions about Career Goals

Career goals are easy to attain and more meaningful if you have a partner who shares them with you. If you and your partner are on the same page, it would be more enjoyable to fulfil the goals. 

Few sample questions to ask before marriage about career are like:

  • Does your partner love the work you do?
  • Do you want your partner to switch careers in the near future?
  • Where does your partner like to see themselves career-wise?
  • Where would you and your partner like to see yourselves in 10 years?   
  • How passionate are you and your partner about career life?
  • Do you and your partner love to prioritise work over other aspects of their lives? 
  • How demanding are you and your partner about the job?
  • Does your and your partner's work interfere with the plans you both have for life?
  • Would your partner mind if you had to travel for their job?
  • Does your or your partner's work involve night shifts?
  • Would your partner mind if you had late meetings and night shifts?

4. Questions about Family Planning

It is always a good idea to plan ahead for future children. This can be an awkward question yet it can also be one of the most important questions you should ask your partner. Asking this question will help you understand the relative lifetime of when your partner is starting to think of having a family.           

Few questions to ask before marriage about family planning are like:

  • Do you and your partner love kids?
  • How good is your partner with kids?
  • How many kids do both of you want to have in the future?
  • How does your partner envision the kids’ upbringing to be?
  • Where does your partner want to raise your kids?
  • What kind of childhood did your partner have?
  • Does your partner have a good relationship with your parents?
  • Does your partner enjoy their time with their parents?
  • Do you and your partner wish to provide a childhood like the one they had?
  • What kind of family traditions does your partner wish to follow at home?
  • In case of any medical issues related to infertility, would you and your partner be ready to seek medical help?
  • Would you want your partner (in most circumstances, the girl) to leave the job after having babies?
  • Do you and your partner enjoy spending time with your in-laws?

5. Questions about Family Conflicts

Families without conflicts are rare to see, and it is quite normal. What's important is how your partner is going to handle these disagreements. People mostly avoid questions like these, but they are as important as any other questions that you are prepared to ask your partner before marriage.

Sample questions to ask before marriage about family conflicts are like:

  • What are the core values you and your partner have in the family?
  • How do you and your partner envision the role of both families in and after the marriage?
  • What are your and your partner's thoughts on communication within families?
  • Are there any family traditions or customs that you and your partner love to maintain after marriage?
  • How are you and your partner planning to handle situations where their families' expectations clash with yours?

6. Questions about Family Values and Religious Beliefs

The questions related to family values and religious beliefs are also important to know when you are making a commitment to loving and being there for each other. 

Sample questions to ask before marriage about religious beliefs are like:

  • What values do you and your partner consider most important in a family?
  • How do you and your partner handle disagreements related to religion?
  • What are your and your partner's views on the role of religion in raising and educating children?

Questions to Ask Before an Arranged Marriage: Expert Advice

7. Questions about Money and Finances

Money and finances in a family are something that both the husband and wife should have a say in. Before taking the ultimate step, it's always best to discuss and get your partner's perspective on how to handle the money, debt and finances in the family.   

Few questions to ask before marriage about finance are like:

  • Do either of you or your partner have any loans or debts?
  • What’s your and your partner's view on life—a luxurious life or a simple life?
  • Do you or your partner have the habit of saving money?
  • Do your partner save for the future or do you spend all your income on the present itself?
  • Would your partner like to share the money with your spouse or split the money into different accounts?
  • What is your partner's opinion on budgeting?
  • How good are you and your partner at dealing with financial problems?
  • What would you and your partner do if your family faced any financial crisis in the future?
  • Who, according to your partner, will take care of matters related to household finances?

8. Questions about the Sexual Relationship

The sexual relationship in life requires attention as much as other factors in a relationship. Most couples aren't given the weight they truly deserve, which later creates problems in marital life. It can be awkward to discuss but when you are preparing the questions to ask your potential partner, questions related to sex life are unavoidable.

Sample questions to ask before marriage about sexual relationship are like:

  • What is your partner's view of infidelity?
  • What does your partner think about birth control?
  • Is your partner open to you in terms of sex?
  • Does your partner prioritise sex?

9. Questions about Medical History

It's always important to get to know the medical history of the partner. Never hesitate to ask questions like these, as your partner's health is as important as yours. Here are the questions: Is there any history of disease or genetic abnormalities in your partner's family?

Few questions to ask before marriage about medical history are like:

  • Is there anyone in your partner's family suffering from alcoholism or drug addiction?
  • Is there anyone in your partner's family who has mental issues?
  • How careful is your partner about their and your family's health? 
  • Does your partner love to exercise?
  • Does your partner have the habit of eating healthy to stay healthy?

10. Questions about Lifestyle Preferences

Couples should be aware of their partner's overall way of life. Knowing the lifestyle of the person you will be spending your life with is one of the most significant things you can do.

Sample questions to ask before marriage about lifestyle are like:

  • Where does your partner want to live?
  • What kind of home does your partner love to reside in?
  • How much money do you need for yourself to live the lifestyle you both want?
  • How much time does your partner wish to give me?
  • How often does your partner like to go travelling?
  • What's your partner thinking of as an ideal vacation?
  • What does your partner like to do after work?
  • Does your partner like to cook or order out?

couples speaking

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Wrapping Up

In conclusion, the journey of an arranged marriage is a significant decision that requires careful consideration and open communication. Questions like “What to ask a boy in an arranged marriage” and “What questions to ask a girl in an arranged marriage” form the foundation for a strong partnership, especially during the first meetings. These questions are more than just words; they are the keys to building a lasting connection. They will help you explore compatibility in terms of family values, religious beliefs and personal desires.

Finding a right partner for a lifetime is the toughest thing, so getting the best matrimonial site and meetings are essential. Approach this phase with an open heart and an inquisitive mind, using these questions as a path to a happy and fulfilling life together, rooted in understanding, respect and shared values.  

Author Nest Matrimony