The Marriage Decision: Everything You Should Consider
What are some of the things that you should consider before taking the plunge and getting married? Do you love him/her absolutely? Can you imagine yourself growing old together? Are you comfortable with that person? It goes without saying that before you tie the knot, you should love each other well, but also like that person as well. Do you love to spend time together? Are you like best friends and lovers? These are of equal importance, as well. However, what is the other things you should ponder over before you become husband/wife?
The marriage decision is certainly a serious topic that calls for a lot of thought. So before you get married, below are everything you should consider:
Your Expectations Regarding Married Life
You should be mindful of the expectations regarding married life. Even though the feeling of spending your life with someone you love is heartening, be aware that in the course of your married life, you won’t always feel “in love”. From trivial things such as maintaining house hygiene to serious considerations regarding finances and raising children, quarrels and difference of opinion are bound to occur.
His/ Her Family
Maybe you know him/her pretty well. However, how well you know his/her family? What are the beliefs, values and traditions that the family observe? How was him/her like growing up? A lot of issues or problems a person had during that stage may recur during that person’s marital life. Knowing all these things beforehand goes a long way in setting realistic expectations as well as builds a further level of understanding and trust between you and the other person.
Your Values
Fights and disagreements in married life typically emerge from divergent values and beliefs. Every time you don’t necessarily have to be on the same page regarding your views on certain things, such as religion, politics, family and others. Most importantly, you should esteem each other’s values and beliefs. This is the basis of a successful and contended married life.
The Way You Will Raise the Children
You may have varying outlook regarding raising children- ways to discipline your children, who will look after the child when both you and your spouse are at job full time and all. After the birth of your child, things do change. You or your spouse might be wondering how taking care of just a month old child who is meant to be napping all the while is tiring and weary.
Your Career and Goals
Simply because you are married doesn’t imply that you can’t chase your dreams. So before you take the plunge and get married, it’s vital to discuss important topics like this with him/her. Particularly after having children, talk about how you can make both ends meet. It is possible to grow as individual people and together when you and your significant other support each other.
Managing Finances
Both of you need to agree when it comes to crucial decisions such as finances. And one of the most typical reasons for fights in marriage is finances, as they connect to various things such as trust, control, power and decision making. In the course of your married life, in all likelihood, you may go through tough times such as a family emergency. So it’s essential to discuss things like this and how to deal with them with him/her. It’s also essential to accent on having enough savings.
Also, you need to make certain that both of you concur when it comes to financial caution. What are the most that each of you is ready to pay out. Do you have existing debts and what’s your plan after you marry? Will you be keeping your assets separate? Who will handle all key expenses such as car loans or mortgage? If you’re going to discuss each of these things beforehand, you’re saving your marriage from numerous possible fights.
Your spouse Won’t Complete You
It’s important not to expect your spouse to complete your life. Most importantly, you need to focus on yourself, neither in a self-centred way nor in a way that overlooks your spouse. Rather, it should be in a way where you are aware that taking care of yourself can go a long way to bring your perfect self to your marital life. You and your significant other should have a balance of togetherness and separateness.
Conflicts are Bound to Happen- Know Your Role to Resolve them
During your post-marriage honeymoon, you may not have the slightest idea that conflicts may arise or your husband/wife has disturbing habits or traits however, all of that awaits. Do you know how to resolve them?
Every time those things you find annoying or hate later in your married life have more to do with you when compared to your husband/wife. The problem lies in the discomfort, uncertainty about yourself or the susceptibility you bring in.
A great deal of how to manage anger and fights is being aware that it begins with yourself- how you are able to handle anxiety and follow healthy means of taking good care of you.
When it Becomes Tough, Never Quit
A lot of young married couples part their ways too soon, even before five years of getting married. There is an existing mentality among individuals that if something fails to work for them, they get rid of it right away. Except if you’re facing intolerable behaviour or any abuse, then take a chance to work things out.
Express Love
According to research by a renowned psychologist, there was a magic 5 to 1 ratio between couples in a happy and stable marriage. For each negative communication while in a fight, couples in a healthy relationship had about five or over five positive communications.
Positivity is vital. It’s immensely vital to feel as though you are in a good place, which is certainly evident through little gestures of love. It doesn’t mean splurging on money for a weekend trip or spending a fortune on your spouse but making them laugh or bringing flowers for them.
Location
Where do you wish to settle down? But if you don’t wish to settle down on a particular location, and be on the move, then make certain that your significant other agrees with it. With regard to the importance of your well-being, what is the way in which you rank place? If you like your current location, then what would coax you to relocate? A job opportunity, a wish to be closer to your family, better education for children?
Getting married is not something which you can do without careful consideration. There are various things to take into consideration, from your married life expectations, his/her family, your values, your career, the way you raise your children and your money matters. Even you have to give thought to your new house where you’ll live. All things are on the count, and the cosiness and style of your home will have a significant effect on your mood. And when it comes to considering all these topics, you and your significant other doesn’t have to be on the same page every time. What matters the most is that you esteem and understand each other’s differences.