Marriage Preparation Pointers for Couples
Marriage is a beautiful journey that marks the beginning of a new chapter in your life. Preparing for marriage is one of the most exciting yet challenging times in a couple’s journey. The transition from being single to being part of a couple requires thoughtful consideration. This blog by Nest Matrimony, one of the best matrimonial websites in Kerala, offers essential marriage preparation pointers for couples for a harmonious life.
Purpose of Marriage Preparation
Your married life is going to be filled with surprises, twists and turns. And some of these can’t be avoided. While you may not be able to foresee any problems, it is important that you figure out a way out of the issue and stick together as a couple.
“The decision to get married will impact one’s life more deeply than almost any decision in life. Yet people continue to rush into marriage with little or no preparation for making a marriage successful.” - Gary Chapman
Investing in your relationship before marriage gives you long-term rewards. Preparing for marriage involves readiness in various aspects. Happily married couples often owe their success to hard work in resolving conflicts through communication, compromise, and sacrifice. By proactively discussing your expectations beforehand, you significantly increase your chances of a joyful life together. Marriage Preparation is the key to a successful married life.
Marriage Preparation is all about understanding your partner, including their family, friends, interests, and hobbies. Learning about your partner’s past, high and low moments, aspirations, and dreams will help you know each other better. Proper marriage preparation helps in setting realistic expectations, fostering effective communication, and creating a shared vision for the future.
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25 Points to Consider When Preparing for Marriage
As mentioned above, preparing for marriage is an essential step towards building a strong and lasting relationship. Here are some crucial points to consider while getting ready for this significant journey, from understanding each other’s values and goals to developing effective communication skills and resolving conflicts. These considerations will help ensure that your marriage starts on the right foot and continues to thrive in the years to come.
1. Change from ‘Me’ to ‘Us’
The first thing you have to realise is that it's no longer just about yourself. It doesn’t mean that you will lose your identity and personal space. It is just considering your future partner in your plans and dreams and recognising that your actions and decisions now affect not just you, but your partner as well.
2. Wedding Details
Discussing how you both want your wedding itself can take a toll on your relationship. Planning your wedding together can be the first step in your teamwork. From selecting the venue to deciding the menu and decor, each choice offers an opportunity to understand your partner’s preferences and priorities.
3. Managing Time
To establish a strong relationship, it's crucial that you spend quality time together. Find ways to spend time with each other every day. Don’t leave your fiance out of any discussion regarding your life and marriage. After all, a healthy marriage depends on how the couple manages their time and the quality of the time spent with each other.
4. Idea of Marriage
It's common to have different views about marriage and life. So, take time and talk about what you think your life together should look like. Have open conversations about what your idea of marriage is and what your expectations are from each other. These meaningful conversations will help you discover more about your partner’s mindset.
5. Learn from Others
You can learn from other couples who have a healthy bond between them. Ask them how they handle arguments and disagreements, talk about how they balance work and marriage, and also observe the way they treat their spouse, both in good and bad times.
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6. Plan Your Finance
There will be quite a shift in handling your finances as you will be sharing the expenses with your spouse. Having a heart-to-heart money talk is highly important, as a lack of planning about the same is the main reason for divorce. So, before getting married, be open to your fiance about your salary, debts, assets, or investments, and share your long-term financial goals.
Once you both get a clear idea of what to expect from each other, start making changes in your money habits. Transparent conversations can eliminate misunderstandings and set a clear path forward.
7. Understand the Communication Style
Successful marriages thrive on effective communication. It's common in every relationship to have numerous arguments, but it's important to communicate and compromise to make things better. Understanding how your partner communicates - be it through words, actions, or other forms of communication- facilitates better interactions and conflict resolution.
8. Disagreement Management
Disagreements are inevitable, but it's the way you handle them that defines your relationship. You can beforehand work on different upcoming scenarios (talking about these issues doesn’t mean that they will happen). This gives you an idea of your partner’s way of approaching various aspects of life.
9. The Role of Religion
For many, religion plays a significant role in marriage. Discuss the significance of religion in your life, how you’ll celebrate religious occasions, and what role it will have in your children’s upbringing. It can be the cause of conflicts in several marriages. Thus, it is important to discuss your beliefs.
10. Role of Sex in Your Life
While speaking about sex before marriage can be considered taboo, it is as important as any other topic in your life together. It can serve as an expression of your love, intimacy, and connection between you and your spouse. It's important to openly discuss your expectations, desires, and boundaries regarding sex before marriage.
Understanding each other’s needs and addressing any concerns can help build trust and prevent misunderstandings. Know that a healthy sexual relationship contributes to overall marital satisfaction and emotional closeness. Through honest communication about sex, you can foster a more fulfilling marriage.
11. Family Planning
Having children is a crucial decision for couples. Starting a family is a huge responsibility and commitment, and both of you must be prepared mentally, emotionally, and financially. Before taking this leap, know that your priorities can change after the birth of a child. So speak about your concerns and thoughts regarding the same to your partner.
Just because you want to have a child, don’t assume that your partner wants the same. Discuss topics like whether or not you want a child, if yes, how many children, when you want to have a child, whether you are okay with adopting a child, and so on.
12. Premarital Classes or Courses
These classes can help you gain more knowledge about marriage and related topics. You can clear your doubts and questions, thereby enlightening yourself and dealing with certain pre-wedding fears or anxiety.
13. Practice Forgiveness
One of the most important keys to a successful marriage is forgiveness. Holding a grudge against your spouse will lead to negative energy in your home. Learn to let go of minor grievances and focus on building a positive future together.
14. Keep an Open Mind
Life won’t always go as planned. You might have some expectations about married life, but everything won’t be perfect. There will be ups and downs, and you need to be ready to face those. Being flexible and open-minded helps couples adapt to changes and challenges, strengthening their relationship.
15. Discuss the Boundaries
Setting clear boundaries within and outside the relationship is crucial to maintaining a healthy and respectful marriage. You and your partner might have different ways of thinking, perspectives, and needs. Make sure you discuss the boundaries and what is okay and what is not before getting married.
16. Where to Live
One major reason for marriage breakups is when one partner wants to move out of the place, while the other has no intention of leaving their current location. Thus, prior to marriage, talk about where you would like to live.
17. Understand the Families
In-laws are an extension of your family post-marriage. Setting boundaries with them and knowing what to expect from them early can help foster a healthy relationship with each other’s families.
In Indian culture, it's common for the couple to live with the husband’s parents (in most cases, or vice versa). However, living separately can be essential for building a healthy and balanced marital relationship between the couple.
It helps establish your identity, encourages mutual responsibility and partnership, and gives you personal space and privacy, which are crucial for emotional and psychological well-being. The presence of in-laws can be supportive but sometimes leads to interference in the couple’s personal matters, causing stress and misunderstandings.
18. Create a ‘No Compromise’ List
Have a clear understanding of each other’s non-negotiables. Identifying issues or points where you are not willing to compromise can create a respectful relationship that values each other’s boundaries.
19. Be Each Other’s Best Friends
See your better half not only as your lover but also as your best friend, someone with whom you can share everything without fear of being judged or misunderstood. Create a positive atmosphere around each other where you can be yourself and laugh at some of your problems, rather than handling them in a way too serious manner.
20. Division of Chores
Two of you must have a clear understanding of managing household chores. Know that household chores are not the sole responsibilities of one partner alone. Discuss and distribute the works based on mutual agreement and convenience.
21. Discuss Your Career Plans
Supporting each other’s career aspirations is highly essential. Your career choices and preferences should be discussed with your significant other, as they can sometimes lead to conflicts in the future.
22. Know Yourself
You might wonder why it's important to understand yourself when you already know who you are. Self-awareness helps you identify your compatibility with your partner and enables you to communicate effectively. Take some time to consider what you are likely to live with. Acknowledging your flaws and drawbacks can help you avoid unnecessary blame games and fights.
23. Ban the Word Divorce
Get the notion into your head that you are not being united to divorce. It should be a commitment to prioritise until the end of your days. When the option of divorce is taken out of your married life, resolving problems and fixing issues becomes the only option. Decide that whatever happens, you and your spouse will make it to the end.
PS: We do understand that divorce sometimes becomes the only option. However, spending a good time understanding your partner and engaging in effective communication with each other can solve the majority of issues.
24. Engage in Activities that Strengthen Your Bond
Find time to spend with the love of your life through engaging activities. It's not about what you do, but the fact that you do it together. You can go for walks together, cook, go for rides, play board games, go for a movie night, or even plan future goals.
25. Discuss the Past Issues
Though it is said to let go of the past, discussing past issues with your partner before marriage can build a strong, honest, transparent, and trusting relationship. It also allows you both to understand each other’s experiences and how they have shaped you.
Prepare for the Best Day of Your Life with Nest Matrimony
Taking time to prepare mentally and physically for the new life will really pay off. Preparing for marriage requires careful consideration and effort. From financial planning to understanding yourself and each other, each step is crucial to building a strong bond that results in a successful marriage. Beyond these mentioned points, consider discussing any other topics you feel are important to share with your partner.
For those looking for their better half, let us be your matchmakers. Find your soulmate online with Kerala’s best matrimony website, Nest Matrimony. We are committed to helping couples prepare for the beautiful journey ahead with confidence and joy. With our assistance, finding your life partner has never been easier. Join us today and create a lasting relationship that grows with each passing day!