March 30, 2021

Arranged Marriage: 12 Key Factors You Should Consider Before Meeting Prospects

What is essential in an arranged marriage to succeed? Marriages, where the spouses are selected for each other, by their parents or other relatives, are common in our culture. And it's not as though you've given up on love, or you just can't find love all by yourself and now what you require is some pitch in from your parents and friends. This doesn't make you uncool- you should have an idea of what you are precisely searching for in a life partner, the qualities, expectations, and then you dive in. 

A lot of people who got into an arranged marriage married without thinking twice. It can be due to the circumstances that they have failed to find anyone suitable, so that leaves everything in the hands of their parents or as their parents are fastidious about choosing a life partner for their children on their own through matrimony sites. No matter what, an arranged marital union is quite transparent in India.

Even still, a marriage planned and agreed upon by both parties does seem to scare off a lot of individuals. The reason being the thought of whether or not everything will work out or whether they're choosing the right life partner or not.

This is why it is essential that you know some things regarding getting into an arranged marriage. This goes a long way in making you understand the whole concept of arranged marriage in a better way and help you in making the right decision to choose the right life partner.

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Understand That it Takes Time

It's essential that you know that the whole process of arranged marriage is a long drawn out and time taking process. Starting from seeking prospects to meeting them to at last discovering your match and then going ahead with them, the entire process is time-taking and calls for patience.

Know What You Truly Need

Prior to meeting your prospects, it's essential to have a clear idea of what you are seeking and who you truly are. It's equally important to know what you are precisely looking for in your life partner and what you can contribute to a marriage.

Rejections are Part of the Process

It goes without saying that not all you'll will find you their right fit and you won't be liking all. All these are utterly normal and okay. Getting rejected by someone doesn't imply any less of you so assure not to let them take a toll on you. Rejecting you doesn't imply that you aren't desirable but implies that you are not what they're seeking. And when it comes to saying no to a couple of prospects, ensure that you do so in a humble and respectful way.

Be Clear About the Expectations and Plans

Every individual has an idea of their expectations and plans ahead when it comes to marriage, and it's not every time necessary that your expectations and future plans will match up with the other person. This is why it is advised that couples need to lay all their cards on the table. Be clear about the things you can compromise and what you can't. Know from the start with all and go for the person with whom your future plans, expectations and wavelength are in sync the most.

Communication Will Play an Important Role

For any relationship, clear communication makes for a strong foundation. And considering arranged marriage, it is important at each step that you talk and listen in a lucid manner and with respect as communication isn't all about talking and listening but the way you communicate with each other matters a lot.

Adjustment With Your In-laws to be

When it comes to arranged marriages, adjustment with your to be in-law's is distinctive. For love marriages, both of them already know how their in-laws are. Indeed, meeting them and heading out is much more typical. This goes a long way in getting along with the in-laws for such couples. But it typically takes time, more adjustments and effort when it comes to arranged marriages.

If you believe you can adjust with your in-laws and the way they treat you is nice and you get along with them well, it is a sign that you can go ahead. Be mindful that you not just deal with your spouse but with your in-laws as well.

The First Year of Arranged Marriage Will be Different

The first year will be way too different from the first year of couples in love marriages. For couples who prefer arranged marriage, first-year into marriage will be more like a period of courtship in which you know each other's self more, over time. It will call for more compromises, adjustments, efforts and more listening, speaking and learning.

A New Friends Circle

Marital union isn't merely about two individuals tying the knot. When you do so, you marry into their families and their circle as well.

Even though you get to know your spouse more with time, you will get to know your spouse's buds as well and hang out with them. So always be transparent and amicable.

Commitment and Perseverance

The entire process of searching for your partner in conjunction with your family is full of uncertainties and qualms and can be exhausting and frustrating as well. For some people, it may take a couple of weeks and for others, it may take a couple of months. This is why you need to understand and believe all the while that ultimately it will happen to you when it's time. Most importantly, you should remain calm and committed to discovering the perfect match.

Conflicts are Inevitable

Conflicts with your loved ones are bound to be a part of the process. Even if you don't find someone as the right fit, your parents think that he/she is best for you. And if you may think of someone as the one, your best friends may not agree with you. Be prepared to face such disagreements and the sole means to get through them is through understanding, communication and care.

Compromising and Understanding

It goes without saying that even if you have some expectations and are clear, you also need to know that a person doesn't have everything. This implies compromising and adjusting on some aspects, just as they also do. This is what relationships are about. Understand what can be compromised and what can't and decide based on that, even before and after marriage.

Financial Compatibility

This is a million-dollar factor at present, and even more significant provided it's not an arranged one. Through the term financial compatibility, it implies the financial stability needs to be compatible and flexible between you and your partner. It doesn't imply you need to earn way too much better than your partner, or vice versa. It merely implies that finances need to equal and you and your partner need to be financially independent and secure. Certainly, after the wedding, you will be splitting costs however, it's important to know your spouse's financial compatibility.

These are the 11 things you should be mindful of before you delve into an arranged marriage. It's amazing and exciting to know a person who is completely new to you. However, it turns easy if you have some diligence and be mindful of the aforementioned things before committing to something.

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